Apologies... and Paleo Energy Bars!

Ok, so I pretty much fell off the face of the earth for a while. It was my birthday (yay for the first anniversary of my 29th birthday! I'm not getting any older than I am *right now*), then I had a house guest, then my office was decorating* for Halloween, then there was Halloween, then I needed to recover from the excitement, and that pretty much brings us up to now. Oh, and I can no longer blog on my lunch break because my office refuses to update IE Explorer pending an act of Congress or something. So I can see nothing while I'm at work. That little bit of "me" time that I could use to start sketching out ideas for posts is no longer available. Refrigerated molasses moves faster than my office...

Anyway, enough excuses. I'm sorry for fading into oblivion for a few weeks. Given that the holidays are fast approaching, I should be spending enough time in my kitchen to provide several posts in the near future. It should provide plenty to blog about... assuming I don't forget to take photos!

Now, without further adieu, let me introduce you to these Paleo Energy Bars! They're packed with good fats and calories, honey and raisins for natural sweetness, and are surprisingly delicious. I can't deny, I was skeptical. If someone told you that you'd be eating a bar made primarily with nuts, coconut, and coconut oil, would you think it would taste good? Yeah, me either. But the reality is they're pretty darn yummy.

I'm dying to try my hand at some charcuterie. I got this itch thanks to reading the Paupered Chef and Nick's post on making bacon. I mean first, I love bacon. Seriously, if you don't like it, I might be tempted to call you a Communist or something else even less flattering. And I love the idea of using local and fresh ingredients to make things. And even more than that, I LOVE making things at home using local and fresh ingredients. While to you this might not look like much, to me this looks like success. I want to do this at home.

- Photo credited to the Paupered Chef and Nick Kindelsperger -

Seriously though, that looks fantastic. And he started it from a raw piece of pork, seasoned and cured it, and then smoked it. Making things that most people would just prefer to buy is kinda my thing. I make cinnamon rolls from scratch (that'll show up here another day), I don't buy brownie mix unless I'm just chopping them up to go in another recipe and even then I feel like I died inside a little, and I never, ever buy frosting for cakes. So why wouldn't I want to try to make my own bacon? Especially if I could end up with something in my skillet that looks like this??

- Photo credited to the Paupered Chef and Nick Kindelsperger -

Meatballs, paleo style

So the Lobster CrossFits. I try to go with him when I can but I can't deny, my motivation is lacking a lot of days. Personally, I love Olympic-style lifting. I love picking up more weight than a lot of the guys at our gym. It makes me feel like a beast and it's pretty awesome when I scare the guys away from my work area because they're intimidated. You know, not to brag or anything...

So anyway, because my better half does this hardcore CrossFit workout regimen, he's working on improving his diet and he's started loosely following the Paleo diet. There are lots of variations of the same general concept, but the basic idea is to cut out cereal grains (corn, wheat, barley), legumes (beans, peas, lentils), dairy (butter, milk, cream), and sugar from one's diet (everything I love to eat). You eat minimally processed foods and stick to animal protein and vegetables with minimal fruit added in. So I've been trying to make things that are compatible with his new dietary requirements. Lots of grilled chicken, some occasional beef, and now turkey-pork meatballs.

Savory Bacon Onion Ricotta Tart

I saw this recipe on Piece of Cake earlier and I nearly drooled on my desk at work. Bacon? Carmelized Onions? Ricotta and parmesan in a tasty pie shell?? YES PLEASE!

I decided to adapt it a bit to suit my personal preferences. Instead of a traditional pie crust, I wanted to make a tart shell. I fell in love with Smitten Kitchen's Great Unshrinkable Sweet Tart Shell after making the Whole Lemon Tart recipe. It was easy, delicious, and resulted in one of the best tart shells I have ever had. It lived up to its claim of not shrinking and was so very yummy. So I took this crust recipe as my basis for a savory tart shell. I omitted the sugar entirely, added a pinch more salt than the original called for, and added a couple of tablespoons of corn starch to help make up for the missing powdered sugar (which contains corn starch to help keep it fluffy). I also added in a splash of olive oil for good measure instead of the extra tablespoon of butter. As seasoning, I sprinkled in some fresh cracked black pepper and a few thyme leaves from my overly abundant pot of herbs in my front yard. After a trip into the freezer to help it keep its unshrinkable nature, I baked it until it was almost finished and just slightly browned.

Yeah... this was supposed to be a picture of the shell but like a total goober I forgot to take a picture.

The story of my life.

This pretty much sums it up.

- Oh look, I'm happy! -

- Mmmm... I ate something tasty. -

Snickerdoodles: Redux

Snickerdoodles are one of the only cookies I like to be mostly soft and chewy. Maybe I'm weird (I get it from my Momma! -she get it from her Momma-) but I like most of my cookies to be crisp and buttery around the edges and just slightly softer in the middle. I live for the crunchy, chewy edges of freshly baked brownies. It's just a whole thing with me. That probably explains why I love the edges of pie crust so much.

Snickerdoodles however are meant to be softer. They shouldn't get crisp, but rather just firm enough to keep their shape. And to display those lovely cracks on the top that make for a beautiful contrast between the crunchy cinnamon-sugar (or pumpkin pie spice if you're a goober like me!) on the outside and the softer middle of the cookie. See what I mean?

And this is why I can't have nice things...

So I live close to my family. I go visit them regularly, usually a couple times each week. I check in, say hello, see how Grace the Destroyer is handling her life as a farm dog, and hang out for a bit.

Now, aside from Grace, my parents also have a couple of cats. They can't coexist on the same level in the house, so one hangs out in the basement and the other rules the upstairs. I say rules only because it's true. She has trained them to do just about anything she wants. If there isn't enough food in her bowl, she goes and rubs on my father's legs and tries to look cute. She might even throw in a pitiful "meow" if she thinks it might help her cause.

- See these? I'm not afraid to use them. -